carapace – Not your father's america

Changes at NORAD

The headquarters for the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD), Cheyenne Mountain Operations Center will become the Cheyenne Mountain Directorate. What this means is that command will no longer be running 24-7, but instead will be on “warm standby.”

At (for 14 days):

http://www.denverpost.com/nationworld/ci_4103478

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Borowitz Report – Evildoing shocker

Axis Of Evil Flooded With Membership Applications

Kim Jong-Il ‘Very Picky’ About Filling Open Third Slot

The Axis of Evil, which originally consisted of Iran, Iraq and North Korea, has been flooded with membership applications of late as evildoers around the world vie to fill the slot vacated by Iraq.

That is according to North Korean President Kim Jong-Il, who since 2002 has served as Chairman of the Axis of Evil while also holding down the post of Chairman of the Axis of Evil’s membership committee.

At a press conference in Pyongyang today, President Kim said that the bewildering number of applications received at the Axis of Evil offices each day is “proof that evildoing is alive and well.”

“No question about it, evildoing is a growth industry,” Mr. Kim told reporters. “It’s the only thing in the world these days that’s keeping pace with obesity.”

Mr. Kim said that in addition to the terror group al-Qaeda, which submits Axis of Evil applications on a weekly basis, the A.O.E. has also received applications from Hamas, Hezbollah, Syria, and Hugo Chavez of Venezuela.

“This is going to be a very, very tough call,” Mr. Kim told reporters. “All of these folks probably deserve to be in, but there’s only one slot.”

The North Korean madman said that he had hoped to make a decision by the end of the week, but that is probably unrealistic: “Mel Gibson just sent in an application and that’s going to need some serious consideration.”

Elsewhere, after former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein said he wanted to be executed by a firing squad if he is sentenced to death, President Bush dispatched Vice President Dick Cheney to Baghdad.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

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three to see

Mike Peters: plan alpha

http://www.grimmy.com/images/MP_Archive/MP_2006/MP0730.gif

Bad Reporter: when did the white house know lance bass is gay?

http://www.sfgate.com/chronicle/pictures/2006/07/28/072806-950×316-badreporter.gif

Steve Sack: panning for votes

http://images.ucomics.com/images/uclick/crssa/tmssa010508.gif

Easy credit driving housing prices?

Mark Trahant:

What if the key element in housing prices is the ease of access to credit? Most at risk are California, Denver, Washington, Phoenix and Seattle, where interest-only loans accounted for 40 percent or more of last year’s mortgages.

Complete article at:

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/279280_trahant30.html

Mark Trahant is editor of the editorial page. E-mail: marktrahant@seattlepi.com

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three to see

Nick Anderson: old middle east – new middle east

http://www.uclick.com/feature/06/07/30/wpnan060730.gif

Tom Toles: this better be one heck of an omelet

http://www.buffalonews.com/graphics/2006/07/27/0727toles.jpg

Ted Rall: blessed are the peacefakers

http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/trall/2006/trall060727.gif

Kosmix

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Go to:

http://www.kosmix.com/

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Political voices of religious left: Counterbalance to right’s agenda gathering in U.S.

By Lois K. Solomon

South Florida Sun-Sentinel 7-24-2006

Tom Tift believes it’s time for spiritual discourse to take a left turn.

Tift, a staffer at First United Methodist Church of Boca Raton, wants to ignite a Palm Beach County movement that swings religious talk in America away from the right. He says the Republican Party has dominated religious-political discussions for too long.

“The left needs to find its spiritual voice in American politics,” said Tift, 55, a father of two raised as a Baptist. “It’s a grass-roots effort to change the spiritual focus of the nation.”

Tift has joined the Network of Spiritual Progressives, a national group founded by Rabbi Michael Lerner of California. The group seeks to refocus national religious discussions away from abortion, gay marriage and school prayer and to issues such as poverty, health care, peace and disarmament.

He hopes to start a Palm Beach County chapter in the coming months.

More than 1,000 people attended the Network of Spiritual Progressives convention in Washington, D.C., in May. The strong turnout was one of several indicators that the religious left, which many say has been dormant since the 1960s civil-rights and anti-Vietnam War era, is regaining strength.

…

Complete article at:

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/broward/sfl-cpprogressive23jul24,0,5120274.story?coll=sfla-news-broward
Lois Solomon can be reached at lsolomon@sun-sentinel.com or 561-243-6536.

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Conservative pundits made wildly wrong claims about how Iraq would turn out — what are they saying now about the Middle East?

Numerous conservative pundits offered highly optimistic predictions about the U.S. invasion of Iraq regarding the conflict’s duration, difficulty, and human and financial costs — nearly all of which have proven to be wrong. But rather than hold these “Pollyanna pundits” accountable for their past misjudgments, the media have again provided a platform for their views about the ongoing conflict between Israel and Hezbollah. And echoing their rhetoric on Iraq, these conservative pundits have advocated further military action by the United States and its allies.

Read more

http://mediamatters.org/items/dailyemail/200607270007?src=other

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“This president has a very firm world view that is not about to be changed by facts or realities”.

Article at:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,,-5976820,00.html
From: Poacnewsletter

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WAR IS THE NEW PEACE

At:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/20/AR2006072001907.html
Shortly after attacking Iraq in March 2003, President Bush told wounded soldiers that “the war in Iraq is really about peace.” Now it seems that ‘peace’ is breaking out in Lebanon too. The Washington Post reports that “Bush sees a step to peace” in the current “Mideast strife.” According to White House counselor Dan Bartlett, “a moment of clarity has arrived.”

SOURCE: Washington Post, July 21, 2006

For more information or to comment on this story, visit:

http://www.prwatch.org/node/5003

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MORE HANNITY HI-JINKS

Notes from the authoritarian right

At:

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/39553/

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Hold the Line at $7.25

After a decade of refusing to even vote on giving low-wage workers a raise, it looks like the Republican leadership of the U.S. House may bow to political pressure and finally act. According to media reports, House Majority Whip Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) has predicted the House will take a minimum wage vote this fall or sooner—before the November elections.

Here’s the hitch: Republican leaders don’t want to face voters in November without giving minimum wage workers their first raise since 1997—while voting to increase their own pay nine times. In fact, 48 moderate Republicans have urged House leaders to schedule a minimum wage vote they can campaign with. But the Republican leadership remains opposed to helping out America’s low-wage workers and is likely to try a sleight of hand move to pass a smaller, stingier increase and possibly tie it to attacks on workplace rights.

Please click here now to tell your U.S. representative America needs a raise—increase the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour with no amendments that would hurt workers.

http://www.unionvoice.org/campaign/minwage_housevote/s3guser27w886t?
The minimum wage remains stuck at a shameful $5.15 an hour—a guarantee of poverty for even a small family struggling to survive at the wage floor. Meanwhile, members of Congress have voted to increase their own pay by $34,900 a year—three times more than a minimum wage worker’s total annual salary.

America is supposed to value hard work and represent the opportunity for anyone who works hard and plays by the rules to get a foothold on the American Dream. Instead, Republican leaders in Congress have steadfastly refused to increase the minimum wage, which has lost half its buying power since it last was raised. Today, a minimum wage worker has to put in more than 11 hours just to buy a tank of gas to get to and from work.

This injustice and insult to low-wage workers has gone on long enough. Now we have a chance at a House vote to raise the wage. Please urge your U.S. representative to increase the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour with no anti-worker amendments.

Click here to act now.

http://www.unionvoice.org/campaign/minwage_housevote/s3guser27w886t?

Thank you for helping America’s working families.

In solidarity,

Working Families e-Activist Network, AFL-CIO

P.S. Once you have sent your message, please forward this e-mail to others you know who want to increase the minimum wage. Urge them to send messages to their U.S. representatives as well. Thanks.

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Exxon: Record Prices, Record Profits

AP is reporting: “Exxon Mobil Corp. said Thursday it earned $10.36 billion in the second quarter, the second largest quarterly profit ever recorded by a publicly traded U.S. company.
“The earnings figure was 36 percent above the profit it reported a year ago. High oil prices helped boost the company’s revenue by 12 percent to a level just short of a quarterly record. Its shares rose to a new high in morning trading.”
SHAWNY HOOVER,

shoover@exxposeexxon.com, http://www.ExxposeExxon.com
Hoover is director of the ExxposeExxon.com Coalition. She said today: “As many are struggling with record energy prices, Exxon is posting record profits. We’re finding that just one month of Exxon’s profits, invested in alternative fuels, would double the annual investment of the federal government in renewables, fuel efficiency and alternative energy.”

From: Institute for Public Accuracy

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Borowitz Report – Shell Game shocker

U.S. To Move Troops From Southern Iraq To North, And From Northern Iraq To South
‘Operation Shell Game’ To Confuse Insurgents, General Says

In a bold attempt to confuse Iraqi insurgents, the U.S. will move 10,000 troops from southern Iraq to the north, and will then move 10,000 other troops from northern Iraq to the south, the Army chief of staff confirmed today.

Gen. Peter J. Schoomaker said at a Pentagon briefing today that the plan, called Operation Shell Game by the Army brass, was the Army’s best bet for leaving Iraqi insurgents scratching their heads.

“This is the largest mobilization, re-mobilization, and mobilization in U.S. military history,” Gen. Schoomaker said. “We believe that the Iraqi insurgents won’t know what hit them — or, what didn’t hit them.”

In order to move the Army units from the south to the north while moving an equal number of units from the north to the south, the U.S. military logged onto Mapquest.com early Friday morning, Gen. Schoomaker said.

While some military experts praised Operation Shell Game as a clever strategy to perplex the Iraqi insurgency, critics of the plan wondered aloud whether the Pentagon is increasingly trying to confuse the American people as well.

Gen. Schoomaker, who paused a full ten seconds in an earlier press briefing when asked if the U.S. was winning the war in Iraq — only to answer “I don’t think we’re losing” — sought to clarify his position in today’s press conference: “Right now I would have to say the war in Iraq is a tie.”

Elsewhere, actress Tori Spelling was left only $800,000 by her late father Aaron Spelling, raising fears that she might have to survive on her talent.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

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three to see

Pat Oliphant: he believes

http://www.uclick.com/feature/06/07/25/po060725.gif

Mike Luckovich: bush doctrine

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Signe Wilkinson: nothing urgent

http://www.uclick.com/feature/06/07/28/wpswi060728.gif

July 2006 Southwest Climate Outlook

The July Southwest Climate Outlook is online. This month’s outlook provides recent drought conditions and the latest seasonal forecasts. This month’s feature article is entitled, “Monsoon impact on society: the good and the bad.”
Special thanks to The University of Arizona Department of Computer Science who captured this month’s cover photo of a monsoon rainstorm on their webcam.

To download a printer-friendly PDF file (2.9 MB) of the July 2006 Outlook, visit:

http://www.ispe.arizona.edu/climas/end/packets/julypacket2006.pdf

As always, you can view the latest Southwest Climate Outlook in html format at:

http://www.ispe.arizona.edu/climas/forecasts/swoutlook.html
Highlights from the July 2006 Outlook
Drought – Drought conditions persist in the Southwest despite an early start to the monsoon season.
• Much of eastern and southern Arizona is in extreme or exceptional drought. Drought status for most of the remainder of the Southwest is severe.
• Reservoir levels in Arizona and New Mexico have declined since this time last year. From last month, Arizona reservoirs are at approximately the same level, while New Mexico’s have declined 11 percent.
Fire Danger – Fire danger in the Southwest has decreased due to precipitation and increased humidity associated with the monsoon season.
Temperature – Since the water year began October 1, 2005, temperatures for most of the Southwest have been 0–4 degrees Fahrenheit above average.
Precipitation – Precipitation has been far below average since the water year began, though during the previous month some areas have received above-average rainfall from monsoon thunderstorms.
Climate Forecasts – Forecasters predict increased probabilities of warmer-than-average temperatures through 2006. There are no forecasted precipitation anomalies.
El Niño – Currently, ENSO conditions are neutral and are forecast to remain so for at least the next three months.
The Bottom Line – An early monsoon start has put a damper on the fire season and provided some short-term drought relief, but drought conditions are expected to persist.

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CNN or CBN? Phillips asks apocalypse authors: “[A]re we living in the last days?”

With Kyra Phillips’s discussion of the Apocalypse and the Middle East conflict with Christian authors Jerry Jenkins and Joel C. Rosenberg — who share the view that the Rapture is nigh — CNN has, for the second time in three days, featured a segment on the potential coming of the Apocalypse, as indicated by current conflicts in the Middle East.

Read more

http://mediamatters.org/items/dailyemail/200607270001?src=other

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50% of Americans Wrongly Think Iraq Had WMD. Why The Confusion?

http://tinyurl.com/f4qlj

From: Poacnewsletter

 

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Belief that Iraq Had Weapons of Mass Destruction Has Increased Substantially
Most people do not think that U.S. troops will be out of Iraq in the next two years

The Harris Poll® #57, July 21, 2006
Despite being widely reported in the media that the U.S. and other countries have not found any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, surprisingly; more U.S. adults (50%) think that Iraq had such weapons when the U.S. invaded Iraq. This is an increase from 36 percent in February 2005. Overall, attitudes toward the war in Iraq are negative, and less than half of the U.S. population believes that the threat of terrorism has been reduced. U.S. adults are not confident that Iraq’s government will eventually become stable, and many think the war in Iraq is continuing to hurt respect for the U.S. around the world. Most people do not think that U.S. troops will be out of Iraq in the next two years.

These are some of the results of The Harris Poll of 1,020 U.S. adults (ages 18 and over) surveyed by telephone by Harris Interactive® between July 5 and 11, 2006.

http://www.harrisinteractive.com/harris_poll/index.asp?PID=684

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The Economic Effects of Recent Increases in Energy Prices

A Congressional Budget Office (CBO) assessment.

At:

http://www.cbo.gov/ftpdocs/74xx/doc7420/07-21-Energy%20DIST.pdf

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Borowitz Report – Border Skirmish Shocker

Fighting Breaks Out Between CNN And Fox

Anderson Cooper, Geraldo in Border Skirmish

Fears of a wider war in the Middle East were realized today as fighting broke out between CNN and Fox in southern Lebanon.

In the two weeks since the Mideast conflict began, camera crews and on-air personalities from the two cable news giants had been staring each other down, jealously guarding their territory in the fight to beam the most dramatic footage back home.

Diplomatic experts have worried, however, that the massive presence of both CNN and Fox in southern Lebanon was a powder keg waiting to explode — worries that seemed particularly justified today.

While setting up a shot with his camera crew this morning, the Fox News Channel’s Geraldo Rivera saw that another newscaster was clearly visible in the background of his shot: CNN’s Anderson Cooper.

In a fury, Mr. Rivera dropped his microphone and ran over to Mr. Cooper, assaulting him with a barrage of verbal taunts.

“Get out of my shot, Hurricane Boy!” the unhinged Mr. Rivera reportedly shrieked, engaging Mr. Cooper in a fierce bout of slap-fighting.

Amid rising tensions between the two cable news behemoths, there were renewed calls for a third party to act as a buffer between CNN and Fox.

“What is needed is a neutral party who is not involved in the cable news ratings race,” one insider said. “Like CNBC.”

Elsewhere, at a joint appearance at the White House, President Bush praised Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki for the progress being made in Iraq, while Mr. al-Maliki voiced concerns about his car being stolen in his absence.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

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three to see

Mike Peters: condi’s peace mission

http://www.grimmy.com/images/MP_Archive/MP_2006/MP0727.gif

Jeff Danziger: Don Imus, Bill Clinton, Joe Lieberman

http://danzigercartoons.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/dancart2857.jpg

bad reporter (Don Asmussen)

http://www.sfgate.com/chronicle/pictures/2006/07/26/072606-950×315-badreporter.gif

Dabble

Dabble is about people describing, discovering and organizing video, wherever it’s found or hosted.

Go to:

http://www.dabble.com/popular/video

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The latest from NASA’s Earth Observatory (25 July 2006)

In the News:

http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/

* Latest Images:
CALIPSO and CloudSat Images
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NewImages/images.php3?img_id=17347

Fires Across the Central Siberian Plateau
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NewImages/images.php3?img_id=17346

Yates Oilfield, West Texas
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NewImages/images.php3?img_id=17345

Tropical Storm Beryl
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NewImages/images.php3?img_id=17344

Isle Royale National Park
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NewImages/images.php3?img_id=17343

Tsunami Damage in Java
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NewImages/images.php3?img_id=17342

2006 Tour de France Stage 17
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NewImages/images.php3?img_id=17341

Atlantic Sea Surface Temperature Anomaly
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NewImages/images.php3?img_id=17340

* NASA News

http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/NasaNews/
- NASA Satellites Find Balance in South America’s Water Cycle

* Media Alerts

http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/MediaAlerts/
- One-Third in High Risk Hurricane Areas Say They May Ignore Evacuation Order
- Gas Escaping from Ocean Floor May Drive Global Warming

* Headlines from the press, radio, and television:

http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/Headlines/
- New Tsunami Alert in Sulawesi
- Flood Toll Adds to Welter of Weather Disasters in China
- Japan’s Flooding Death Toll Rises
- Researchers Link Wildfires, Climate Change
- Tropical Storm Beryl Weakens
- The Real Reason Louisiana is Sinking
- Scientists Map Miles of Underwater Dunes
- Warmer Water Disrupts Pacific Food Chain
- History Suggests Major Wind Shift Could Again Bring Drought to Great Plains
- Ocean “Gummy Bears” Fight Global Warming
- Undersea Gas Could Speed Up Global Warming
- Red Sea Region Parting in Massive Split
- Europe Sweltering in Record Heat Wave
- Mount Fuji Overdue for Eruption, Experts Warn
- Japan Plans 30-Year Supercomputer Forecasts
- Death Toll in Indonesian Tsunami Reaches 400
- UN Says Mangroves in Pacific under Threat

* New Research Highlights

http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Newsroom/Research/

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In Middle East conflict, other crises, conservative media find signs of Biblical prophecy of Armageddon

In recent days, some members of the conservative media have seen signs of the Apocalypse in the escalated conflicts in the Middle East and Asia. Pat Robertson has considered the possibility but has seemed to reject it, while columnist Hal Lindsey has simply asserted: “Now Armageddon looms large before us.” But as recent reports on CNN and in USA Today attest, conservatives are not the only media figures to raise the question of whether current events are a sign of the “End Times.”

Read more

http://mediamatters.org/items/dailyemail/200607260002?src=other

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Religion does fulfill primary need

Kenneth Burres, guest columnist: Don’t blame the religion for what some of its adherents do.

Complete article at:

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/278661_religionrebut25.html

Kenneth L. Burres of Sequim is emeritus professor of religion at Central Methodist University.

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Plame Leakers Keep Security Clearance:

None In Bush Administration Stripped Of Access To U.S. Secrets. Not the Plame leakers, not the folks related to the AIPAC scandal. Nobody

Article at:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/07/24/national/main1832057.shtml

From: Poacnewsletter

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String of Pearls: Meeting the Challenge of China’s Rising Power Across the Asian Littoral

The author describes the “String of Pearls” as the manifestation of China’s rising geopolitical influence through efforts to increase access to ports and airfields, develop special diplomatic relationships, and modernize military forces that extend from the South China Sea through the Strait of Malacca, across the Indian Ocean, and on to the Arabian Gulf. The monograph examines the “String of Pearls” as an evolving maritime component of China’s national strategy, implications for the U.S.-China relationship, and broader U.S. policy implications for the entire region.

Published July 2006, Authored by Lieutenant Colonel Christopher J Pehrson

At:

http://www.strategicstudiesinstitute.army.mil/pubs/display.cfm?pubID=721

The SSI Publishing Team
Strategic Studies Institute
U.S. Army War College

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BLOOD IN BEIRUT: $75.05 A BARREL

The failure to stop the bloodletting in the Middle East, Exxon’s record second-quarter profits and Iran’s nuclear cat-and-mouse game have something in common — it’s the oil.

By Greg Palast
July 26, 2006
I can’t tell you how it started — this is a war that’s been fought since the Levites clashed with the Philistines — but I can tell you why the current mayhem has not been stopped. It’s the oil.

I’m not an expert on Palestine nor Lebanon and I’d rather not pretend to be one. If you want to know what’s going on, read Robert Fisk. He lives there. He speaks Arabic. Stay away from pundits whose only connection to the Middle East is the local falafel stand.

So why am I writing now? The answer is that, while I don’t speak Arabic or Hebrew, I am completely fluent in the language of petroleum.

What? You don’t need a degree in geology to know there’s no oil in Israel, Palestine or Lebanon. (A few weeks ago, I was joking around with Afif Safieh, the Palestinian Authority’s Ambassador to the US, asking him why he was fighting to have a piece of the only place in the Middle East without oil. Well, there’s no joking now.)

Let’s begin with the facts we can agree on: the berserkers are winning. Crazies discredited only a month ago are now in charge, guys with guns bigger than brains and souls smaller still. Here’s a list:

– Israel’s Prime Minister Ehud Olmert’s approval rating in June was down to a Bush-level of 35%. But today, Olmert’s poll numbers among Israeli voters have more than doubled to 78% as he does his bloody John Wayne “cleanin’ out the varmints” routine. But let’s not forget: Olmert can’t pee-pee without George Bush’s approval. Bush can stop Olmert tomorrow. He hasn’t.

– Hezbollah, a political party rejected overwhelmingly by Lebanese voters sickened by their support of Syrian occupation, holds a mere 14 seats out of 128 in the nation’s parliament. Hezbollah was facing demands by both Lebanon’s non-Shia majority and the United Nations to lay down arms. Now, few Lebanese would suggest taking away their rockets. But let’s not forget: Without Iran, Hezbollah is just a fundamentalist street gang. Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad can stop Hezbollah’s rockets tomorrow. He hasn’t.

– Hamas, just days before it kidnapped and killed Israeli soldiers, was facing certain political defeat at the hands of the Palestinian majority ready to accept the existence of Israel as proposed in a manifesto for peace talks penned by influential Palestinian prisoners. Now the Hamas rocket brigade is back in charge. But let’s not forget: Hamas is broke and a joke without the loot and authority of Saudi Arabia. King Abdullah can stop these guys tomorrow. He hasn’t.

Why not? Why haven’t what we laughably call “leaders” of the USA, Iran and Saudi Arabia called back their delinquent spawn, cut off their allowances and grounded them for six months?

Maybe because mayhem and murder in the Middle East are very, very profitable to the sponsors of these characters with bombs and rockets. America, Iran and Saudi Arabia share one thing in common: they are run by oil regimes. The higher the price of crude, the higher the profits and the happier the presidents and princelings of these petroleum republics.

This Thursday, Exxon is expected to report the highest second-quarter earnings of any corporation since the days of the Pharaoh, $9.9 billion in pure profit collected in just three months — courtesy of an oil shortage caused by pipelines on fire in Iraq, warlord attacks in Nigeria, the lingering effects of the sabotage of Venezuela’s oil system by a 2002 strike… the list could go on.

Exxon’s brobdingnagian profits simply reflect the cold axiom that oil companies and oil states don’t make their loot by finding oil but by finding trouble. Finding oil increases supply. Increased supply means decreased price. Whereas finding trouble — wars, coup d’etats, hurricanes, whatever can disrupt supply — raises the price of oil.

A couple of examples from today’s Bloomberg newswire are:

“Crude oil traded above $75 a barrel in New York as fighting between Israeli and Iranian-backed Hezbollah forces in Lebanon entered its 14th day… Oil prices rose last month on concern for supplies from Iran, the world’s fourth largest producer, may be disrupted in its dispute with the United Nations over its uranium enrichment … [And, said a trader,] ‘I still think $85 is likely this summer. I’m really surprised we haven’t seen any hurricanes.”’

In Tehran, President Ahmadinejad may or may not have a plan to make a nuclear bomb, but he sure as heck knows that hinting at it raises the price of the one thing he certainly does have — oil. Every time he barks, ‘Mad Mahmoud’ knows that he’s pumping up the price of crude. Just a $10 a barrel “blow-up-in-the-Mideast” premium brings his regime nearly a quarter of a billion dollars each week (including the little kick to the value of Iran’s natural gas). Not a bad pay-off for making a bit of trouble.

Saudi Arabia’s rake-in from The Troubles? Assuming just a $10 a barrel boost for Middle Eastern mayhem and you can calculate that the blood in the sand puts an extra $658 million a week in Abdullah’s hand.

And in Houston, you can hear the cash registers jing-a-ling as explosions in Kirkuk, Beirut and the Niger River Delta sound like the sleigh-bells on Santa’s sled. At $75.05 a barrel, they don’t call it “sweet” crude for nothing. That’s up 27% from a year ago. The big difference between then and now: the rockets’ red glare.

Exxon’s second-quarter profits may bust records, but next quarter’s should put it to shame, as the “Lebanon premium” and Iraq’s insurgency have puffed up prices, up by an average of 11% in the last three months.

So there’s not much incentive for the guys who supply the weaponry to tell their wards to put away their murderous toys. This war’s just too darn profitable.

We are trained to think of Middle Eastern conflicts as just modern flare-ups of ancient tribal animosities. But to uncover why the flames won’t die, the usual rule applies: follow the money.

Am I saying that Tehran, Riyadh and Houston oil chieftains conspired to ignite a war to boost their petroleum profits? I can’t imagine it. But I do wonder if Bush would let Olmert have an extra week of bombings, or if the potentates of the Persian Gulf would allow Hamas and Hezbollah to continue their deadly fireworks if it caused the price of crude to crash. You know and I know that if this war took a bite out of Exxon or the House of Saud, a ceasefire would be imposed quicker than you can say, “Let’s drill in the Arctic.”

Eventually, there will be another ceasefire. But Exxon shareholders need not worry. Global warming has heated the seas sufficiently to make certain that they can look forward to a hellacious — and profitable — season of hurricanes.
Greg Palast is the author of the just-released New York Times bestseller, ARMED MADHOUSE: Who’s Afraid of Osama Wolf?, China Floats Bush Sinks, the Scheme to Steal ’08, No Child’s Behind Left and other Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Class War.

Go to

www.GregPalast.com

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Borowitz Report – Guantanamo Shocker

Detainees To Be Transferred From Guantanamo to Naomi Campell

Terror Suspects to Become Personal Assistants to Supermodel

In a deal designed to silence critics of the detention center at Guantanamo, the United States announced today that it would begin transferring all detainees held there to the custody of supermodel Naomi Campbell.

Once the terror suspects have been transferred to Ms. Campbell’s residence, they will work as her personal assistants, picking up her laundry, sending her shoes out for repair, and performing any other chores that the demanding supermodel may designate.

In exchange for their services, Ms. Campbell will be responsible for feeding, housing, and interrogating the terror suspects in her employ.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said the deal to transfer terror suspects from Guantanamo to Naomi Campbell was a solution to two nagging problems: “We were getting a lot of heat for Guantanamo, and Naomi was having a heck of a time holding onto personal assistants.”

But even as Secretary Rumsfeld trumpeted the deal, the human rights group Amnesty International raised concerns about the treatment detainees would receive while in the custody of Naomi Campbell.

“We are very concerned that Ms. Campbell intends to throw her cell phone at them,” said Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for the group. “In our view, forcing people to work for Naomi Campbell could be a violation of the Geneva Conventions.”

According to a guard at Guantanamo, the deal could be a non-starter for another reason: “As soon as the detainees heard the name Naomi Campbell, they went on a hunger strike.”

Elsewhere, the United States and NATO declined to send troops to southern Lebanon, calling themselves “the coalition of the unwilling.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

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three to see

This Modern World: Gloomy Gus and Perky Pete

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trouble town (Lloyd Dangle): wwiii

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Mike Keefe: Hillary and the Base

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NEW PULSE POSTED

That’s the url to the July 24, 2006, issue of DOE Pulse. Pulse is a newsletter about accomplishments at the Department of Energy’s national laboratories. Here is some of what you’ll find in this issue:

* Pacific Northwest: Purer foods

* SLAC: Icy light

* Oak Ridge: Synthetic bone

* Pacific Northwest: Parkinson’s clues

Feature:  Oak Ridge research probes plaque-Alzheimer link

Researcher profile: Berkeley Lab’s Saul Perlmutter

Go to:

http://www.ornl.gov/news/pulse/pulse_v214_06.htm

 

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On The 700 Club, Coulter accused liberals of “fak[ing] a belief in God,” repeated evolutionary falsehoods

On The 700 Club, Ann Coulter accused liberals of “trying to fake a belief in God” in order to court religious voters and stated that liberals have “admitted they are godless.” Further, Coulter and co-host Gordon Robertson repeated many of the false and misleading claims regarding evolutionary theory that appear in Coulter’s latest book and have been debunked by Media Matters for America.

Read more

http://mediamatters.org/items/dailyemail/200607240008?src=other

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LOOK OUT GALLUP, HARRIS AND ZOGBY — IT’S SEAN HANNITY!

Hannity: Keeping Americans dumb for more than a twentieth of a century!

Article at:

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/39371/

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Speaker of Iraqi Parliament:

“The U.S. occupation is butcher?s work under the slogan of democracy and human rights and justice. White House Chief of Staff: He loves us!

Article at:

http://thinkprogress.org/2006/07/23/bolten-speaker

From: Poacnewsletter

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Not everyone’s on board with ethanol

Richmond Times Dispatch – Richmond,VA,USA

BY GREG EDWARDS.

Ethanol entered the energy picture in a big way in Virginia this year when it replaced another additive used to make gasoline burn cleaner.

…

Complete article at:

http://www.timesdispatch.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=RTD%2FMGArticle%2FRTD_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1149189316547&path=!business!metrobiz&s=1045855934857

 

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ECONOMY — ADMINISTRATION CUTS AUDITS ON WEALTHY AMERICANS:

The administration is pushing to reduce the number of estate tax auditors nearly in half over the next two months. These lawyers are responsible for auditing the tax returns of America’s wealthiest citizens. President Bush has been a strong opponent of the estate tax, claiming it hurts the growth of small, family-owned businesses. But as the Center for Budget and Policy Priorities notes, “At an exemption level of $3.5 million ($7 million per couple), as will exist in 2009, fewer than 100 family businesses and only 65 farm estates would have paid any estate tax.” Sharyn Phillips, a veteran IRS estate tax lawyer, believes this personnel reduction is a “back-door way for the Bush administration to achieve what it cannot get from Congress, which is repeal of the estate tax.” For each hour these lawyers work, “they find an average of $2,200 of taxes that people owe the government,” according to Kevin Brown, an IRS deputy commissioner. Last year, just 30 out of more than 180,000 millionaires were audited by the IRS. Low-income taxpayers were almost twice as likely to be audited as the wealthy

From: ThinkProgress.org

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Borowitz Report – peace accord shocker

ANGELINA JOLIE, BONO SIGN MIDEAST PEACE ACCORD

Israel, Hezbollah Not Consulted

Hopes for a lasting peace in the Middle East were raised today when a comprehensive Mideast peace accord was signed by Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie and Bono, the lead singer of the rock band U2.

Just hours after Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice made a surprise visit to Beirut to confer with Lebanese officials, Dr. Rice found that her efforts were largely upstaged by the high-wattage amateur diplomacy of the two global superstars.

“When I saw the conflict in the Middle East spiraling out of control, I recognized that there were only two parties who could sit down at a negotiating table and bring peace to the region,” Ms. Jolie told reporters today at a press conference in Jerusalem. “And those two parties were me and Bono.”

After reaching out to Bono to make her historic offer of a lasting peace, Ms. Jolie dropped off her infant child Shiloh Jolie-Pitt with a babysitter in Namibia and jetted for the Middle East.

But even as Ms. Jolie and Bono signed their landmark Mideast peace accord, representatives from both Israel and Hezbollah complained that neither of them had been consulted “at all” about the terms of the agreement.

“That’s true, we did not consult them,” Ms. Jolie told reporters. “We thought long and hard about it, and Bono and I came to the conclusion that Israel and Hezbollah would only screw things up.”

Elsewhere, hospitalized due to his hunger strike, former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein demanded that doctors remove his feeding tube because it was interfering with his ability to make incoherent anti-American outbursts.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

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three to see

Dan Wasserman: when we invaded iraq…

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Slowpoke: Memebusters!

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Ted Rall: democratic triangulation

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